2013 has been a very “interesting” year for me both internally and externally. After much reflection, I've come to the conclusion that it's been a year of transitions...both in the traditionally accepted sense of transition from youth to adulthood (whatever that means) and in the more creative sense as a shift from theory to practice. This year has been a time to breath in, a time to batten down hatches, preparing for that most quietly purposeful exhaling of breath, the spray of the first wave in this perfect storm we collectively call life.
Of course, times of preparing such as this are rarely so fantastic. For the most part I'm stuck daydreaming of times that are so irritatingly close to my grasp. It's in these moments where a feverish intensity to do, to prepare come over me. I devour everything I can on score of subjects that share such tenuous connections as to seem unrelated to the average onlooker. In one breath it's the nature of the universe, in the next it's the behavioral characteristics of its most curious members, and in another its a specific way that these curious creatures explore it all.
...and just like that, the fire burns low, the drive to move forward for a moment slows to a crawl. I become lethargic... listless even. If I'm not careful, depression is quick to follow. In truth, I don't handle times like this particularly well. Waiting is never something I've been particularly good at. Perhaps it's my youth, perhaps it's my near constant need of movement, or perhaps it's the very sense that drives me forward causing it...but waiting for circumstances beyond my control to fall into place erodes at my consciousness. It causes me to neglect even the things I can do within this time of quiet.
My time in this mildest of deserts is at it's end...and short of making any grand declarations for what I will do in this coming year, I'll simply say that this coming year holds so many plans coming into the fullness of their being, so many paths finally gaining definition.
“This year's a sealed envelope
with apprehensive hope
we brace for anything
i swear, i understand that nothing changes that
the past will be the past
but the future is brighter than any flashback”
- Sleeping At Last